girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
