you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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