Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
my liver is dry heaving
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize