well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
