i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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