I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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