one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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