i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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