just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
