I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize