This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have tasted many bathrooms
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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