You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
