somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
