Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
