I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
zippers are such a cool invention
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
