So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
