Someone shit on the floor
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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