i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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