Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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