We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
