i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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