i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
