S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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