were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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