my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
