I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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