On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
