How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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