i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
