I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
