32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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