I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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