I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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