I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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