I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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