he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
