Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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