hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
