Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My dad is sitting where you rode me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize