At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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