in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think people are normalizing furries
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
