Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
