god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just invented taco cereal.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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