I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
