my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
