Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
