its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
