Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There are leaves in my underwear?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
