i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
