I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
