he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I forgot how hot balto sounded
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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