Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
