Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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