i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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