Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
