so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
