woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
