Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize