Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize