So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.