How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.