Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years. http://tfl.nu/7axl
  Replies (36) Good night (1736) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes. http://tfl.nu/wpyi
  Replies (5) Good night (623) Bad night (2113) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy http://tfl.nu/6i8p
  Replies (18) Good night (1018) Bad night (1918) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket http://tfl.nu/8xo3
  Replies (11) Good night (3661) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases http://tfl.nu/zsan
  Replies (17) Good night (523) Bad night (5552) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint. http://tfl.nu/71cw
  Replies (32) Good night (6277) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right? http://tfl.nu/a8lp
  Replies (25) Good night (3641) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing. http://tfl.nu/i0rl
  Replies (20) Good night (8200) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun. http://tfl.nu/h48x
  Replies (21) Good night (3763) Bad night (996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers http://tfl.nu/0i28
  Replies (5) Good night (1739) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside. http://tfl.nu/x4yl
  Replies (5) Good night (1493) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone. http://tfl.nu/n7df
  Replies (4) Good night (2290) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog? http://tfl.nu/u47g
  Replies (7) Good night (465) Bad night (1296) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever. http://tfl.nu/25nu
  Replies (6) Good night (1707) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...

  (226): View more from Ontario

  did I at least say anything...

  (519): View more from Ontario

  you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom... (226): did I at least say anything... (519): you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living http://tfl.nu/vjjh
  Replies (6) Good night (1809) Bad night (250)

Randomize