Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
