She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it's like iHOP with fire
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
