For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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