big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
